CURRENT SONG:
"May It Be" by Enya from "Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring" soundtrack...

Ohayo, minnasan, I hope that everyone is currently in great health and happy spirits! I had a disgustingly long day, but that's what I get for staring at a T.V. 8 hours of the day and getting paid for it, ne?

To meh youkai, get better for me baby... I don't like the idea of you being injured in any way, shape or form, so stay off your legs and let your knee get healed, ne? ::hugs and kisses:: That'll make it a bit better, I hope!

A plug for my dear otakuchan, LNchan and her buddies at Bluetumbleweeds.com are doing the yearly Blogathon... This year the proceeds go to animal preservation, and it's a very worthy cause! You can either make a direct donation, or you can go by the hour! But for a direct donation of $15.00 or more, you can get some really spiffy stuff, so please, stop by and check it out, ne? The animals can't do anything for themselves and I'm not sure I'd want LNchan's tigers chasing after me... They look sorta scary...

Now for another fic... I usually don't post more than one fic every couple weeks, but I found this one on a disk I had... This is the first Saiyuki fic I ever wrote and still is by far, my most favorite. I've never posted it for viewing, though meh Sissy has read it and I'm glad she really enjoyed it... I actually wrote it for her! I hope you all enjoy it too! ::smiles::

*****

"...please forgive me..."
By: Miracle Shining

AUTHOR'S NOTES: All "Gensomaden Saiyuki" characters belong to Kazuya Minekura, Enix Inc. and TV Tokyo. The character of "Sara" belongs to me. Please don't sue me, I have no money. This is a YAOI fan fiction piece and you should be the age of 18 years or older or of the legal age in your state/country. The song "Please Forgive Me" is by Bryan Adams from "So Far, So Good" and is copyrighted under him and his company. FLAMES WILL BE COMPLETELY IGNORED! Arigato, and enjoy!

SPECIAL NOTE: (**) Indicates Gojyo's private thoughts

~It still feels like our first night together,
Feels like the first kiss,
It's getting better baby,
No one can better this,
Still holding on,
You're still the one...~

Gojyo sat at the table, silent, his trademark cheap cigarette dangling from his lips. He felt completely numb, even more than he thought a human or youkai could feel. He wanted to only stare at the table, but the conversation that was occurring continually forced him to look upwards. The laughter did too. The damn joyous laughter.

His eyes moved to Goku to the right of him, who was laughing happily, eating a steamed meat bun. Gojyo's eyes then moved to Sanzo. The priest still wore his stern, sour expression, but seemed a little more light hearted than usual. Perhaps it was because of the occassion. They were to celebrate tonight, but Gojyo had no reason to be joyous.

"And what do you think, Gojyo?" came a soft, warm voice.

Gojyo turned his attention painfully to the brunette haired man wearing the monocle. He was smiling a warm, comforting smile. It wasn't a mask this time, it was a pure smile. Gojyo wished he could have been the reason for the young man's joy, but he wasn't. It was the person sitting beside him that was.

"Ne, Hakkai, what was the question?"

"Oh, Gojyosan, you never listen do you?" said the person beside Hakkai.

Gojyo avoided looking at her. It was a her, which seemed to make it harder. She was beautiful, stunning, red long flowing hair and sparkling blue eyes. She had an ample bust that was covered modestly by a green wool sweater. Her long pleated skirt rested delicately over her ankles. She was perfect in every way, and that perfect girl's hand rested in the hand of Hakkai's, a ring on her finger.

"You know me, Sara, we sex fiends never keep our minds on anything for too long."

Sara immediately blushed but then laughed, joined by Hakkai and Goku's soft laughter. Gojyo couldn't handle it, couldn't stand being around so much happiness when he himself was in agony.

Pushing himself back from the table, he picked up his package of cigarettes and lighter and headed for the door.

"Ne, Gojyo, where are you going?"

"You are all boring me, I want to go out and play with some pretty ladies. I'll be back later, ja..." Gojyo absently said.

"Maa, maa, can I come with you?"

"Stupid ape, you'd cramp my style!"

"I'm not a stupid ape!"

"Gojyosan, you didn't answer our question!" Sara said cheerfully after him. "What colors do you think should be in Hakkai and my's wedding?"

Gojyo swallowed and turned back to the four at the table.

"How about something in 'red'?" he said quietly, his voice hiding the vehemence in his words.

Sanzo immediately gave Gojyo a dirty look. If Hakkai had noticed the hidden inferences in Gojyo's words, he was completely oblivious, too wrapped up in his new lady's attentions to notice.

Gojyo stared at the happy duo for a moment longer before sliding out of the door. He closed it behind himself, staring up at the night sky.

**It's true... I'm dying inside...**

~First time our eyes met,
Same feeling I get,
Only much stronger,
I wanna love you longer,
Do you still turn the fire on?~

**I knew the moment he looked at me with those green eyes, I was lost to him. I picked him up out of the rain and brought him home with me. Those eyes, they felt as though they could stare through my soul...**

Gojyo paused, watching some beautiful young women across the street staring at him. He sighed, wanting to go over and talk to them, but the pain of doing so made him instead cross the street to a nearby alleyway. He ducked inside, resting his back against the stone cold wall. Pulling out his half empty carton of cigarettes, he popped a stick into his mouth and lit it with his almost empty lighter. How many cigarettes had he smoked in the past few days they had been in this village? More than he could count, more than he wanted to remember.

They had just stopped at the village for an evening and Hakkai and Goku had went shopping. When they came back, Hakkai also came back with something outside of food. Her name was Sara and she lived in the village, working as a seamstress. It didn't take a genius to see the chemistry bouncing off her and Hakkai. Before any of the others really knew what happened, Hakkai announced two days later that he had decided to stay with Sara and marry her. It was the crimson haired man's turn to wear the mask. He had just smiled, excused himself, and then got sick in the bathroom with disgust for himself.

Gojyo sighed, pushing himself off the wall. He wasn't looking for female companionship tonight, he was looking for a way out. Walking out of the alley, he began his trek back to the inn. The breeze caught his long hair and brushed it out in front of his face.

**My hair no longer reminds me of my own sorrows, Hakkai... Now it reminds me only of you...**

~So if you're lonely, don't,
You're the only one I'll ever want,
I only want to make it good,
So if I love you a little more than I should...~

Gojyo opened the door to the inn slowly, listening to the echoing creak of the old door. He slipped inside, closing it behind him. Putting out his cigarette, he walked into the main room to see Sanzo sitting at the table. The ill mannered priest had a cup of coffee in one hand, a newspaper in the other, and a cigarette dangling from his lips. Normally, Gojyo would just pass him by. But he didn't want to go to his room yet. He didn't want to face Hakkai yet.

"Ne, you're awake still?" Gojyo said absently as he pulled a chair up to the coffee table.

"You're back early." Sanzo simply responded, sipping his coffee with the cigarette still in his mouth.

"There weren't any pretty girls to chase tonight." Gojyo responded, knowing that it was a very weak excuse.

"Or there wasn't anyone that looked the way you wanted them to look."

Gojyo narrowed his eyes and then brushed Sanzo's words off, leaning back in his chair.

"I have my taste preferences too, you know."

"They seem to gravitate toward green eyes and brown hair if I'm not mistaken." Sanzo said lightly.

The words struck a nerve in Gojyo and he suddenly sprang from his seat, grabbing the priest by his robes and hauling him off the chair. Sanzo said nothing, only stared at Gojyo with his violet eyes, the same sour expression gracing his facial features.

"What the hell do you mean by that, you bastard priest?"

"I only mean what I have said, you've placed the content in it yourself." came Sanzo's flat reply.

Gojyo blinked and then settled Sanzo back into his chair. If Gojyo's outburst had even slightly frayed Sanzo, the blonde showed no inkling of it, simply straightening his robes and picking up his paper again.

"Now get the hell out of here before I shoot you."

Gojyo knew better than to question Sanzo's words, especially since he was in as foul a mood as the priest always was in.

**He doesn't understand though... He doesn't understand this pain... The only one who does is Hakkai... And I can't tell him now...**

~Please forgive me, I know not what I do,
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you,
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through,
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do,"
Please believe me (Oh believe it), every word I say is true,
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you...~

Gojyo turned away from Sanzo and walked up the stairs, cursing at the blonde haired man. He made the turn around the bend and almost ran into Goku, who was ready to run down the stairs.

"Stupid ape, why don't you watch where you're going?" Gojyo growled.

"Me? What are you talking about, why don't you watch you erokappa!" Goku responded back, and then held his stomach as it growled. "Ne, I'm hungry, and Hakkai's too busy to fix me a snack."

"Well, why don't you just go and do it yourself." Gojyo responded sarcastically.

"I am!" Goku said proudly. "I know I'll have to learn some time since Hakkai won't be travelling with us any more in a couple days. It will be weird, won't it Gojyo, not having him around. Even if his fiancee is a little odd."

As Goku passed by cheerfully, Gojyo caught his arm, not hard enough to hurt but enough to get his attention.

"What do you mean by 'odd' Goku?"

"Well, I don't have a great memory, but I do remember Hakkai telling me things about his sister Kanon and how much they loved each other. I guess Sara acts just like her."

Gojyo tried to shove the lump down in his throat. Hakkai had found a woman that wasn't just another girl, but someone who could replace Kanon in every aspect. The thought sickened him to the core.

"Arigato for telling me, Goku." Gojyo said softly, ruffling the boy's hair. "Now get out of here, you idiotic monkey."

"I'M NOT A MONKEY!! SANZO, GOJYO IS CALLING ME A DUMB MONKEY AGAIN!!" Goku wailed as he ran down the stairs toward the main room.

~Still feels like our best times are together,
Feels like the first touch,
Still getting closer baby,
Can't get close enough,
Still holding on,
You're still number one...~

Gojyo stared at the door in front of him. Hakkai and him had spent countless nights together in the same room, but he had never thought much about it until recently. Until he realized a few months back that not only did Hakkai exsist in the day with him, but also in night, in the fantasies that danced in his head. The only thing he found himself longing to do now was to kiss Hakkai slowly, touch him, make him whisper his name. Gojyo quenched the thoughts quickly, trying not to add to the rawness that was already killing him inside.

**And they think that Sanzo's got a small heart... I think mine is almost destroyed...**

Gojyo raised his hand and knocked softly on the door.

"Hai?" came that same familiar, gentle voice.

"Hakkai, you busy?"

"No, Gojyo, please come in."

~I remember the smell of your skin,
I remember eveything,
I remember all the moves,
I remember you yeah,
I remember the night, you know I still do...~

The door closed quietly behind Gojyo and he turned to see Hakkai standing in the middle of the room, some of his perfectly pressed shirts in his arms. Gojyo normally smiled at that sight, being it was usually his shirts that Hakkai had folded. But this was not the case tonight, he was placing his own clothing in a couple old suitcases.

"What are you doing?" Gojyo asked quietly.

"Oh, Sara has invited me to live with her for the next couple days until the wedding. I'm just packing up a few of my things in these old suitcases she gave me. I won't need too much, she said she'll make me a whole new wardrobe with her wonderful sewing skills."

He was smiling. That smile was breaking Gojyo apart inside. He choked back the sudden urge to run out of the room screaming in favor of taking on his offish persona instead.

"Ne, well I'm sure she's quite good with a needle." Gojyo responded absently and wandered over to the bed.

"She is, and she's so beautiful, Gojyo. She talks so eloquently, and she's graceful, and everything that I have missed for so long since... since..."

"...Kanon..." Gojyo finished the sentence for Hakkai.

The green eyed man's smile seemed to slip for a moment, but only for a brief one before it was fixiated with the smile of a man ready to start again.

"We have so much ahead of us, Gojyo. She's even gotten me a job teaching again. It will be like old times, where I didn't have to worry, and I'll have someone to come home too."

**You already have someone to come home too, Hakkai, can't you see that?!!**

~So if you're feeling lonely, don't,
You're the only one I'll ever want,
I only want to make it good,
So if I love you a little more than I should...~

Gojyo just nodded slightly, feeling almost dizzy. He wandered over to the window in Hakkai's room. He wasn't sure why the younger man always insisted on having a window, but he was grateful tonight. He drew his red eyes up to the night sky, moving them back and forth from star to star.

Hakkai approached him, resting his hands on Gojyo's shoulders and rubbing gently. Gojyo was grateful he was faced away from the brunette so he couldn't see him flinch.

**He doesn't know what that makes me feel... Please stop, Hakkai, stop before I completely snap...**

Still, he said nothing. Hakkai continued to rub gently, something he used to do when Gojyo would come home trashed, wasted, and too drunk to stand. He'd clean him up, put him to bed and rub his shoulders until he went to sleep. He had done it since they had lived together and even now, still waited up for him. That changed when they had come to this village. Now, Gojyo found himself waiting near a window until he would spy Hakkai and Sara. He'd watch them kiss and become ill, running out of the room and to the bathroom again.

~Please forgive me, I know not what I do,
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you,
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through,
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do,
Please believe me (Oh believe it), every word I say is true,
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you...~

"Gojyo, I want you to be my best man. Sanzo said that I can have one at the ceremony."

Gojyo closed his eyes, trying to block out the request, but it played a thousand times over in his head.

"I... I can't..." Gojyo said softly, his words starting to crack.

"But why not, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked as he moved to the side of the red haired man. "Surely you can stop womanizing for an hour to come to the wedding. Sanzo said he'd even shorten the ceremony if.."

Hakkai's words were silenced as Gojyo swooped down, capturing his lips with his own.

~The one thing I'm sure of,
Is the way we make love,
The one thing I depend on,
Is for us to stay strong...~

Gojyo drew back and returned to staring out the window again.

Hakkai swallowed, bringing a trembling hand to his lips. Gojyo had just kissed him, he had registered that, but wasn't prepared for the sudden dam of feeling ready to burst inside of him. He felt like he had never felt before and he swore then that the mask around his face, that perfect smile was cracking.

He thought he had been happy with Sara. But he hadn't realized anything until Gojyo kissed him. He hadn't realized until now that he was about ready to relive the life he had left behind when he was Cho Gonou. To stay with Sara would be perfect, euphoria, and more pain that Hakkai could bear. He couldn't relive that part of his life again, even if Sara would remain alive. It was cause too many more memories to resurface again.

"G-Gojyo, why... Why did you kiss me?" the normally calm man stumbled through.

"You know why I did."

"No I don't, dammit! Gojyo, why the hell did you kiss me?!" Hakkai suddenly shouted. It was the first time that Gojyo had ever seen him raise his voice.

The red haired man would have said something, but all of his strength was gone. He was too tired to fight or question, and he suddenly crumpled to a pile in the ground. Hakkai let out a sound of shock and dropped down to his knees in front of his fallen best friend. Gojyo didn't bother to look up. He was too far gone and needed Hakkai so badly now he was willing to beg.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai tried to help Gojyo off the ground, but the crimson eyed man motioned for him to let him stay there.

"Let me be."

"No, Gojyo, you could have hurt something in your..."

Gojyo grabbed Hakkai's hand and rested it on his bare chest, over his heart.

"This is the only thing in me that hurts now, Hakkai."

Hakkai stared at his hand on Gojyo's chest, not able to say anything. He felt his heart twist and then he knew it had happened. The emotions that were kept so careful and in check came undone, flooding him more than they had previously. Choking, he dropped his head, his mouth turned downwards, tears flooding from his eyes.

"Hakkai?" Gojyo could barely whisper.

"Gojyo, I want to feel. I want to feel anger, and joy, and sadness, and you. I want to feel you..."

Without warning, Hakkai suddenly lunged forward, pressing his lips tightly against Gojyo's. It was the other man's turn to be stunned as he fell onto his back, their lips still pressed together. The kiss broke slowly, Hakkai staring down at Gojyo's with a heavily tear stained face.

**Kamisama... He... He loves me...**

Gojyo didn't need Hakkai to say it, didn't need to see him mouthing the words. Instead, he held Hakkai close to him, scooping him up and standing before laying Hakkai down on the bed, crawling on top of him.

"I promise I'll make it so good for you, Hakkai... I'll make it so damn good..." Gojyo whispered in Hakkai's ear, undoing the buttons of the other man's shirt.

Hakkai just sobbed softly and held tightly to Gojyo, burying his face into the other man's neck and tasting both their tears.

~Please forgive me, I know not what I do,
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you,
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through,
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do,
Babe believe it, every word I say is true,
Please forgive me, if I can't stop loving you...~

Hakkai opened his eyes slowly, the warmth of the slow rising sun bathing his face. Yawning a bit, he glanced over to the bed, finding it empty beside him. A sudden wash of panic flew over him and he set up so fast in bed, he almost got vertigo.

"Gojyo?!" Hakkai cried out.

Gojyo came quickly out of the small bathroom and sat on the bed, gathering Hakkai up in his arms.

"Koibito, what's wrong?"

Hakkai had never had a real pet name before and the word thrilled him. He looked up into Gojyo's deep red eyes.

"I thought... I thought you might have... have left after last night..."

"Never, Hakkai, never."

**And that's true, Hakkai... I can never leave you now... Wherever you go, I will always follow you... I am your slave...**

Hakkai gave Gojyo a smile, a real one without any facade and then rested his head under Gojyo's chin.

"But, what will I tell Sara?"

"Tell her..." Gojyo began. "Tell her the truth, Hakkai."

The other younger man nodded, curling into Gojyo's embrace.

**If Sara is that much like Kanon, Hakkai... She'll understand...**

~No, believe, I don't know what I do,
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you...~

Jeep rode down the rode, the four men relaxing quietly in it.

"Hey, Hakkai, what happened between you and Sara? How come you called off the wedding so quickly?" Goku questioned.

Goku's response came with a good whomp from Sanzo's fan.

"Baka! That is none of your business!"

"SANZO, STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT SO MUCH!"

Hakkai just smiled, listening to the two melee when he felt a hand rest gently on his shoulder. He glanced a bit to the side, seeing the darker skin tone. He gave a small nod and continued his drive, Gojyo's hand resting firmly on his shoulder and reminding him that he was always there.

~I can't stop... loving you...~

THE END

CURRENT SONG:
"Ashes to Ashes" by David Bowie from "Best of Bowie..."

A bit of a different entry tonight, minnasan... Gomen nasai that I haven't posted for a while,
but I had a very unusual, and I guess to many, a bit of a bad situation occur to me yesterday,
and I'm still recovering from it... It wasn't very pleasant... But to let everyone know, since I know
that you all worry about me, I'm okay... A bit of sleep and some time to think to myself really
helped me in the long run... ::smiles:: You know me, I'll pull through it all and come out
a better person... Anyhoo, I'm just gonna' post an old "Kingdom Hearts" story I wrote a while
back, since it really seems to fit the mood... I hope you all enjoy it and ja ne for now...

*****

"...on a path less traveled..."
By: Miracle Shining

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Squaresoft, Disney Inc., Playstation, Sony and all their related subsidaries. Please don't sue, I have NO money nor could I take on Disney even if I wanted too. This is a SHONEN AI fan fiction piece, so please be of your legal age in your state or country to read it. FLAMES WILL BE IGNORED!

RATING: PG-13/15

WARNINGS: EXTREMELY bittersweet, angst, very light WAFF, free use of canon in reference to KH 2 since I don't know what happens.

PAIRING: SquallXSora, inferred RikuXSora and VincentXSquall (Chu!)

SUMMARY: Squall makes a decision and Sora gets a reality check.

SPECIAL NOTES: I'd like to thank Kichan for unintentionally planting this plot bunny. She was mentioning about her 19 year old Sora, which got me thinking of a 19 year old Sora, which led to me thinking about a 30 year old Squall and well... Plot bunnies a go-go!!


*****

It was nearing sunset.

In a park just on the border of Traverse Town, an older man sat silently. His blue eyes gazed upwards at the coming of the evening, the chill touching his cheeks and ghosting over his lips. He shivered, his long hair falling aimlessly here and there over his shoulders and down his back. He pulled his hands farther into his black poor boy turtleneck and watched the colors begin to slowly meld from bright blue into more subtle shades of orange and yellow.

Pulling his hands out of his sleeves, he retrieved his wallet from his back pocket. Fishing through the money, the credit cards and a few receipts, he finally pulled out a picture. The corners were tattered, well worn from much handling and the edges were yellowing from time. The man gazed quietly at the photo, touching the scar on his forehead for a moment before cradling the picture against his chest, using his free hand to cover his eyes, his breath catching in an almost missed sob.

"Oh gods, Vincent, I miss you so much..." he whispered to himself.

*****

Sora tracked his way through the Traverse Town streets, whistling happily to himself. It was a good day to be alive, after all, he had turned 19 yesterday and it had been one hell of a party. Sora grinned to himself as he thought about the after party events, including Riku and him playing a whole different version of tag in the bedroom.

Sora had grown much since his first encounter with the Heartless at 14. He had went to battle immediately when Riku had locked himself up with the King in the world of Kingdom Hearts. It had not been an easy battle, but his friends were behind him and they had managed to free Riku and the King, both having suffered much. Sora was unsure whether he'd ever have Riku back completely, the young man had been traumatized badly from the event, but time did heal much and Riku finally was somewhat back to being the same smart, quick rival Sora had rememebered.

But things had changed in other aspects. The battle with the Heartless had taken it's toll on more than just Riku, Sora had been changed forever by it. He had sworn to himself that he would grow to be as strong and powerful a Key Master as there ever would be. That oath proved true, as the young man was now a very tall and muscular six foot two with sun touched brown hair pulled back in a pony knob behind his head. His stride was always sure and he carried an air of knowledge about him that would make one think he wasn't the brash boy of 14 only five years ago.

Sora grinned as he stopped by a shop at the window, seeing a necklace he knew Kairi would absolutely love. His dear friend had finally gotten used to the idea of Riku and him being together and after much convincing, finally moved in with Selphie. The two were getting along very well, perhaps even better than friends normally would.

That idea brought a quirky smile to Sora, and he found himself scolding himself for thinking such things. Laughing warmly, he continued his walk, his mind going to his other friend whom he was on his way to see.

Sora looked to Squall as the greatest mentor he could have ever had. The man taught him everything about the KeyBlade and also about fighting. He had stood by Sora when they battled the Heartless one final time, freeing Riku from Ansem's grips once and for all. But, the battle had taken its toll far worse on Squall than anyone else. During the final battle, Squall blocked a blow coming from Ansem, allowing Sora to rescue Riku from the Darkened tendrils. The blow permanently gave Squall a slight limp in his left leg and afterwards, he looked far older than his real age.

Sora frowned suddenly, chewing his lip. Squall had been very distant as of late, always leaving to go and sit either by the water near Traverse Town or alone in the park. He had already checked the lake, and knew that since the older man wasn't there, he had to be in the park. Picking up his pace, Sora zipped down the streets, singing a random tune to himself until he reached the small opening of trees, the sun was just beginning to settle behind the mountain range.

"Hey, Leon!..." the words quickly died in his throat, Sora stopping in his tracks.

Squall was curled forward, one hand covering his face, the rest of his body rocking slightly. Sora was still a little dim in reference to people, but he knew what crying looked like. Swallowing, he stood in his place, gazing at the older man amongst the fading light.

Squall's hair was longer by far, but was now streaked up and down with shades of silver that would rival the great Sephiroth's in color. He had wrinkles around the corners of his eyes and even a slight permanent tint of grey underneath them. The limp was always worst during the chill and Sora knew it was, even if the older man never complained. Squall was thirty and looked about fifteen years older.

The tall youth quietly walked up beside Squall, hesitantly reaching out his hand and touching the older man's shoulder. The touch startled Squall and he almost fell off the bench, ready to fend off the hand. Seeing Sora, he haulted, his eyes slightly red, but there were no tear stains on his cheek.

"Sora..." Squall said softly.

Sora pushed some of his rogue bangs from his eyes and swallowed, unsure of what to say. He finally opted just to sit beside Squall, afraid that anything coming out of his mouth would come out wrong. They both sat in silence, gazing at each other until the teenager shifted nervously and finally broke the silence.

"I was just coming to find you "Leon..." Sora said with a careful smile, trying to lighten the mood. "Wondering if we were sparring tonight."

Squall looked at Sora quietly and then looked down at the picture that was curled tightly in his hand.

"I'm sorry, Sora... I had forgotten."

The young man shifted even more uncomfortably, waiting for something more to happen. Instead, Squall just sat there, his eyes turning to the sky as the shades began to morph into cool blues, some edges turning violet.

"Squall, man, are you okay?" Sora barely asked.

The scarred man looked back at Sora, his lips were in a pained, thin smile. His hair framed his face now, showing off someone who looked a bit too thin, nothing like the Squall that Sora had first met five years ago.

"I was just thinking, Sora." came the quiet reply.

"Yah, about what?"

Sora tried to get more comfortable on the bench, finally opting to slouch a bit, resting his back against the hard wooden frame. Squall leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, slipping both his hands back into the sleeves of the shirt, still holding the photo.

"How much you've grown up since we've known each other. How much things have changed."

Sora couldn't help but smile at that, he always thought it was great when Squall would note how much older he was. Made him feel like they were almost equals in that right.

"Yah, they have a lot haven't they? Took me still two years to call you Squall, ya' know." Sora said with a laugh, but that died quickly when he realized Squall was watching him with almost distant eyes.

"They really have, Sora. You've got a whole new life now, Riku is back in it as you've always wanted and everything is finally at peace here and in the King's world."

Squall folded his arms around himself, rocking against the chill as the sky's colors began to dip into the deeper navy blues, hues of deep rich purple wrapping around the edges and beginning to melt into the tinting clouds.

"Squall?" Sora managed to whisper, feeling as though talking out loud was somehow wrong.

"Sora, have I ever told you about my relationship with Vincent Valentine?"

Sora blinked, unsure of why the conversation had changed suddenly, but he shook his head.

"Nah, you always kept that to yourself." Sora replied.

Squall nodded, pulling his hands out of the turtleneck and unfolding the one with the picture in it. Sora blinked, peering down at the worn photo in the fading light. His breath caught almost immediately.

The picture was a candid photo, showing an older raven haired man with very prominent silver streaks through his hair, red eyes sparkling, wearing a long sleeved black poor boy turtleneck identical to Squall's. Next to him was a young man of about twenty-one, hair pulled back in a pony knob, bangs everywhere, his arms tight and happy around the older man's neck. Sora reached up, touching his own hair and realizing that he and Squall looked almost identical.

"Is that... Is that Vincent?" Sora quietly asked, still fingering his hair.

"Yes, Sora, that is." Squall responded sadly. "It was my 21st birthday, and Vincent was starting to show the signs of his age. His face was as young as ever, but his hair was changing colors and his body was starting to be stiff in the morning, he was beginning to slow down."

Squall choked back a sob. Sora could feel his eyes begin to moisten, almost in reaction he went to put his arms around Squall, but the older man firmly, but gently held up his hand for the young man not too. Sora couldn't stop the jab that came into his stomach when Squall wouldn't allow him to hold him.

"This is the last picture we had taken together for some reason. We decided we'd have one taken together on my 25th birthday, and we were going there when the Heartless invaded. By that time Vincent was far from the most effective fighter, but we all did what we could. The Door opened and in desperation, Vincent threw me through it, landing me here in Traverse Town. Before I could... I could grab him, another door opened and the Heartless pulled him through... That was five years ago..."

Squall's words trailed off, his shoulders shuddering as he refused to let the tears completely be shed. Sora swallowed back the lump of sorrow forming in his throat. Trying again, he reached out his hand to the Squall's free one and grasped it gently. This time the older man didn't pull away, but looked gently at Sora.

"I fixed my motorcycle, Sora."

Sora nodded, unsure as to why the conversation skipped suddenly again, but immediately the young man caught the change in Squall's eyes. There was a kind of hope there that wasn't there before.

"I'm going to go and try to find Vincent, Sora. I know there are still key holes to the world of Kingdom Hearts and I know there are still Heartless to battle. I know that Vincent is still alive and you've got a new life now, it's time for me to move on."

Sora's blood froze at those words.

"Move...move on?" they spilled from the young man's mouth, not seeming to even be his own.

Squall nodded.

"You have Riku who loves you without compare, you've got Kairi and Selphie, and you've got a life full of opportunity now that there is peace. I've done what I can here, Sora, it's time for me to go and find my life again."

Squall gave Sora a small smile, but the young man just stared open mouthed. His cheeks suddenly flushed and he dropped Squall's hand in anger, standing up from the bench.

"You can't leave!" Sora turned, screaming at the older man. "You just can't pick up and leave and expect me to be okay with it!!"

The scarred man looked at Sora almost mystified by the teenager's reaction.

"..Sora?..."

"It's not fair, Squall! It's not fair that you're leaving me! It's not!!!" Sora started to sob, knowing in his mind that he was sounding nothing more than a selfish child.

"Sora, you've got so much right now, I need to move on..."

Before he could finish, Sora had swooped down and was desperately kissing the older man, wild and colored with thousands of emotions. Squall could barely keep himself on the bench, and Sora almost collapsed against him, scrambling to crawl on the older man's lap.

Sora whimpered into the kiss, swiping his tongue back and forth desperately over Squall's mouth, the man finally opening to allow him to kiss him deeply. Before he could think, Squall's hand came up on the back of his neck and Sora was soon drowning in a smoldering kiss, letting himself be willingly controlled by Squall's careful hands. Sora felt like he was falling, his body moving so that his legs came out across the bench, his upper body resting on Squall's lap, his lips unmoving against the scarred man's, arms wrapped hapharzardly around Squall's neck, and through his silver and auburn hair.

Gasping, Squall finally pulled back to look down at Sora lying partially on his legs. Sora's large blue eyes stared up at him, cheeks streaked with saline, his hair falling out of the pony knob. Swallowing, the older man brushed his fingers lightly over the stains on Sora's cheeks.

"Sora..."

"You can't leave. I love you..." Sora whispered, reaching for Squall again.

The older man relented, letting the younger one pull him down into another soul searing kiss before drawing back again, stroking his hair tenderly.

"I love you too, Sora, I have since you were a young teenager."

Sora's eyes lit up, ready to pull Squall down to kiss him again when the older man stopped him again, but much more tenderly, bringing Sora's hand to his mouth to kiss.

"But your love for Riku must come first. That is how it works."

The teenager felt the tendrils of sadness wrap around his heart as he stared up at Squall's loving eyes. He had been a fool to believe that he could have somehow had both Squall and Riku, that was not how the world worked.

"I some times wish it was a fairy tale, Squall. Where everyone lives happily ever after and no one has to ever leave..." Sora choked out softly, allowing Squall to pull the taller boy up and actually settle him on his lap.

"But life isn't a fairy tale, life is real." Squall responded quietly, stroking Sora's back as the young man curled down, letting his cheek rest on the top of Squall's hair. No, life wasn't a fairy tale and some times it hurt far more than the times when Sora would battle the Heartless. There was no clear cut winner in this game.

"I love Riku so much, Squall. And I love you so much too and I just... I wish..."

"It's all right, Sora. Everything will be all right." Squall replied, still rubbing the young man's back tenderly.

"When are you leaving?" Sora barely could ask, the question finalizing the inevitable ending.

"Tomorrow morning, to the mountains, there is a key hole there."

"You love Vincent a lot don't you?"

"As much as I have loved you, Sora." Squall said.

Sora bit his lip and nodded, finally managing a small smile.

"I'll miss you so much, Squall."

"And I'll miss you too, my beloved Key Master."

Sora pulled back and looked down at his mentor, his friend, and if things would have been different, his would have been lover. But things were not different and despite the bind that was around Sora's heart at that moment, he realized later he would not have changed a thing.

Looking up at the sky, Squall pointed upward to a falling star, the night now inky and dotted with colors of light as far as the eye could see.

"Make a wish, Sora."

Sora closed his eyes and wished, one that he knew may never come true, but it warmed his heart. He wished that some day, he and Riku and Squall and Vincent could be together all in one world. Opening his eyes, he looked down at Squall.

"Did you make a wish too?"

"I didn't have too, I already got mine."

Sora was ready to ask, but stopped when Squall leaned up and kissed him on the lips again, holding him close as the night sky watched silently from overhead.

THE END