Saturday, March 08, 2003

"Father Figure" by George Michael from some background music playing...

Well, minnasan, I'm not having a very good day. In fact, I've not had a few good days for a while. But, I have learned one thing. When I am feeling down, I like to make other people smile, 'cuz that makes me feel so much better! So, I figured I'd post another piece of my fiction, this time quite humorous. I actually originally posted the first of these on the Kingdom Hearts Yaoi mailing list I belong too, but I figured you could all use a laugh too, so enjoy!

"Squall Leonhart's Training Journal"
By: Miracle Shining

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney Inc. and Squaresoft Industries and their subsidaries. Please do not sue, I really don't have the money. This has very light SHONEN AI references in it, so you should be the legal age to read it. FLAMES WILL BE IGNORED!

SPECIAL NOTE: This was inspired heavily by the brilliant Cassandra Claire and her absolutely hilarious LotR slash parody pieces, "The Very Secret Diaries..." Without her, this would not be a written piece, I tip my hat to her and her brilliance! Day Sixteen entry of the journal has to do with my old Vincent ValentineXSquall Leonhart Yaoi I used to write... =^.~=V


PAIRING: Squall + Sora (VERY LIGHTLY) and CloudXSquall

SUMMARY: Squall teaches Sora how to use his Keyblade...



DAY ONE: Sora turned out to be the Keyblade master. Decided to train him, so I gave him the blade. Found him a minute later crushed under the weight of it. Must consider making lighter version.

DAY THREE: Sora is progressing quite well with the Keyblade. Showed me his new arial spin he was practicing. Very impressive... Doctor assured me that the stitches from the demonstration will come out of my forehead in three to four days.

DAY SIX: Am considering tying Sora to a tree and not allowing him to swing Keyblade any more. On a side note, I have started signing my credit card receipts as "Leon," which seems very wrong. Perhaps I should go with "The Fighter Formally Known As Squall Leonhart?"

DAY NINE: Sora has come great strides with Keyblade. He showed me his arial spin and I survived this time. Unfortunately, Keyblade went through Yuffie's bedroom window. Did not know Yuffie could curse in seven languages, including Yiddish. Will keep in mind for future use.

DAY FOURTEEN: Took Sora into town to battle some low level Heartless. He did quite well. Cid assured me that I would only have to pay for half of the flower pots, windows, and small glasses that he destroyed in the process.

DAY SIXTEEN: Let Sora have day off. Went off with duck and odd dog like creature for day. Decided to use day to advantage. Did some Gunblade practice, then went to bar. Met up with gorgeous blondie with claw like hand. Reminds me of a professor I used to sleep with... Got wasted, went home with him...

DAY SEVENTEEN: Major hangover. Blondie turned out to be Cloud Strife. Told him I dug the claw while nursing black coffee. He told me he'd call me and left. Yah right... Sora came in with Keyblade and proceeded to show me neat wrist trick. Found the wrist movement oddly alluring... I'm beginning to worry me.

DAY TWENTY: Took Sora into forest to do more Heartless battle. He did quite well and destroyed all of them, and then proceeded to do very disturbing war cry and dance about to strange music that appeared out of nowhere. Wonder where soundtrack music came from.

DAY TWENTY-THREE: Let Sora sleep in today. Watched him yawn and cuddle into sheets. Had urge to crawl into bed with him and cuddle him... Then had other thoughts... Left room and took cold shower...

DAY TWENTY-FIVE: Sora has become very efficient with Keyblade. Did a number of arials and even tossed blade into air. Was VERY impressed. Doctor assured me that Sora's black eyes will go away in five to six days and the spot where the Keyblade hit him dead between the eyes shouldn't scar badly. Set up frequent payer plan at hospital then.

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT: Sora getting fidgety, wants to stop Heartless with duck and odd dog like creature. Told him he'd be ready in a couple days. He gave me puppy eyes and asked if he'd ever see me again. Began to contemplate bad thoughts again. Took another cold shower.

DAY THIRTY: Sent the duck, the odd dog like creature and Sora on their way to battle evil Heartless after catching Sora using the Keyblade to push up the curtains and peek in on Aerith in her underwear. Will have to try that with Gunblade later. On another note, Cloud called... Am getting laid later...

::smiles:: Hope you had fun reading this one, minnasan, I have Cloud's and Sora's currently done and am still working on Riku's, Sephiroth's, and a very funny one for Ansem! Domo arigato for all the hits, sign my Guestbook onegai, and ja ne for now! =~.^=V (Proud Supporter of the 58 Pairing!)

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