Thursday, January 23, 2003

"Alive" by P.O.D. from the radio next door...

There are days like today that I realize I really am human. I can't do everything, I can't be everything, I can't help everyone. It's days like today that the pain gets a little bit harder than usual and some of my bitterness comes to the surface. I try to remind myself that I need to smile, need to remember that things get better, need to do all of that. Right now, I don't want to do any of that. I'm sorry to my friends right now if they need a shoulder to cry on. I can't do it right now. I'm sorry to a lot of people if they need help, but I can't do it right now. I almost lost my temper today, something that no one should have to see. So I need a little time for me to breathe. I need to remember that I need to think about me for a while. I know that a lot of bad things happen to people in the world, everyone has their problems, and normally I want to be there to help. But today, I think I need the help. I can hardly keep my composure right now. I apologize to everyone if I'm not the happy person I normally am right now. But even how I am right now, I never forget that tomorrow is another day. Even if I'm hurting like hell right now, even if I need to be held up right now, it'll be okay. Everything always is okay. I will return to my peaceful state, but as of today, please don't ask me to hold you up. I'm afraid that I'll stumble. Domo arigato for everyone who has cared so deeply for me, I send my love to all of you. To my friends who are having terrible times, I will be stronger for you tomorrow, I promise. To my beloved family, it's just one of those glitches I go through, you know that I'll recover. Much love to everyone. Me

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