"Bed of Roses" by Bon Jovi from "Keep the Faith"
Well, minnasan, I thought I'd do something different in my Blog today. I wrote a very odd, sorta disjointed GojyoXHakkai piece of fiction and I thought instead of my usual ramblings, I'd share it with you today! Hope everyone enjoys it and feel free to e-mail me if you like it! Domo arigato for the hits, sign my guestbook, and ja ne for now! =~.^=V
"Blood Stained Shirt"
By: Miracle Shining
AUTHOR'S NOTES: "Gensomaden Saiyuki" is property of Kazuya Minekura, ENIX, and Sony Inc. Please do not sue me, I have no money. This is a YAOI piece and you should be of your legal age in your state or country to read this. FLAMES WILL BE IGNORED!
RATING: Hard R
PAIRING: GojyoXHakkai (In an odd sort of way), SanzoXHakkai (past reference, now one-sided)
WARNINGS: Angst, Mentioned blood shed, POV, Lime moments, Some language, Bittersweetness
SUMMARY: Just a random moment that could have occurred anywhere in the series, Hakkai is kidnapped and the Sanzo-Ikkou are looking for him. Told from Gojyo's POV and it's supposed to be sorta' disjointed.
I wish I had a cigarette.
Everything that has happened thus far, and everything that's about to happen, and I'm out of freakin' cigarettes.
It figures.
I wonder right now where Hakkai is. I had a horrid nightmare last night of things happening to him that I don't even want to try and put words too. But, I couldn't push them out of my head. No matter how damned hard I tried, the images were burned into the back of my eyelids.
Hakkai has been kidnapped.
Heh, bet you couldn't have figured that one out, ne? Even the baka saru knew that one. Happened three nights ago. We got jumped by a bunch of crazed youkai and Hakkai was struck on the back of the head and drug off before any of us could grab him. Well, Sanzo had a hold of him, but they tugged too hard and were too fast.
My shirt got splattered with some of Hakkai's blood... It was dripping out of his arm...
No, it was pouring out...
The youkai grabbed Hakuryuu too. Funny, made me feel a hell of a lot better knowing that little white dragon was with Hakkai. I just hope nothing has happened to the little guy either. Unlike Sanzo, I actually like the bugger, and not just for transportation.
So we're walking now. Well, we were walking, but Goku declared to Sanzo, me, and the whole freakin' village that he's starving to death and needed to eat now. I wanted to feed my damn boot to him. See how he likes trying to swallow that one.
I'm not hungry... I'm not really anything right now. The people in the inn are looking at us oddly. Wonder why?... Could be because Sanzo's carrying a white sash that isn't his, I'm splattered in dried blood and Goku looks like he's in a form of shock. No, we're perfectly normal...
The waitress seats us. She's got a bust that doesn't quit, I must admit. Too bad I haven't had a thing like that with a lady in a long time. She's chattering something about specials...
I'm still out of cigarettes...
I don't dare ask Sanzo for one, he's been choking them down ten times faster than normal since Hakkai's been gone. He won't let go of the sash either. Which is beginning to tick me off to no end.
I should be holding that sash.
Instead, the only remnants I currently have of Hakkai is his blood that's dried to my shirt. Twice now Sanzo has told me to take it off and wash it. Twice now I've told him to kiss my...
You get the picture.
So, I'm in an inn with no cigarettes, a blood stained shirt on, with Goku chewing on something that I was pretty sure was still moving when it arrived to our table. I need to get away. I feel sick to my stomach for once.
Sanzo doesn't say anything when I grab the beer I was nursing and head up to one of the two rooms we have. Normally I'd be heading up there after Hakkai has went to bed.
Funny how you think of those things, ne?
The room is nice, must compensate for the food being so bad. Has a big window. Hakkai would have loved the window, you can see the trees and a path toward some kind of garden from here.
Oh gods, Hakkai...
I'm on the floor, I think...
I must be, I can see the ceiling and it sure as hell isn't comfy like the bed. Strange how certain thoughts can knock your legs out from under you, ne?
I don't feel like getting up. I'm glad I locked the door before Hakkai's face came to me out of nowhere. Last thing I need is a snide remark from the great Sanzosama and his little monkey.
My face is wet...
I'm crying. I know that I'm crying because I can taste the salt on my lips. I end up grabbing my shirt and fisting it over the spot that is coated in blood.
Hakkai tastes like rain.
Bet you didn't know that. I found him in the rain when we first met. Hard to explain, but he's always tasted like rain to me since then. Sorta sweet, but tinted with a touch of bitter salt to it.
My tears taste like rain.
I can't stop crying...
WHY THE HELL CAN'T I STOP CRYING?!!
I'm clutching at my shirt, and my heart is pounding. I think my chest is going to explode...
Oh gods, Hakkai, help me... Make it stop!...
Where are you?... Please give me some damned sign!...
I think I've torn a hole into my shirt, but I don't care. The dried blood is the closest I have to touching my Hakkai.
Hai, he's My Hakkai.
And the damned bastard priest is currently probably curling in bed with Hakkai's white sash. He thinks I don't know. He thinks I don't know about what happened in the temple between him and Hakkai when they took him there for trial.
He told me, Sanzo... I know...
You weren't expecting him to see me ever again. But it only happened once between you... That's all that will EVER happen again...
You don't feel the same way I do about him. You could never feel the same way I do about him.
Hakkai... Hakkai... My chest hurts... My chest hurts so damn bad...
I bring my hand up to my eyes. Some of the dried blood has flaked off on my fingers. I stare at it as if its the closest link I'll ever have with my Hakkai again.
Please, let that not be so...
I close my eyes, my hand falling over the blood stained spot on my shirt. I take a deep breath and I can almost smell rain...
Hakkai has a beautiful body. He doesn't think so because of his scar across his stomach, but he's flawless. His skin never darkens in the sun and it feels like satin to the touch.
I groan, I can hear myself. I know this isn't the time to be assaulted by these images, but it feels like the only comfort I can take right now. My hand comes over my hip and I rub myself through my pants. I should feel ashamed, but I don't. I don't because it's not my hand in my mind...
Maybe I am as messed up as everyone sees me, but right now I don't care. My other hand is clutching the blood on my shirt and I roll on my side, still rubbing myself.
Hakkai loves being touched. Even if he thinks his body is ugly, he loves being touched. I love touching his body. I love making love to him on my side like this. He fits me perfectly... So perfectly...
...Oh gods, Hakkai, you feel so good...
...press your hips back... just like... just like... oh gods, baby, yes...
...want to stay in you forever... love you... love you, hakkai...
The front of my jeans are wet...
I don't know when it happened. My palm feels a little damp too...
And my face is wet and the salt from what must still be my tears are making my eyes burn.
I'm still laying on my side on the floor in now sticky pants with a partially shredded shirt on.
I still don't feel like getting up...
I guess I'll stay here...
Hakkai, wherever you are, you can't leave me... You won't die... If you do... I'll go and... I'll... I'll...
...i wish i had a cigarette...
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