Wednesday, March 26, 2003

"Spin" by Darren Hayes from "Spin..."

Well, minnasan, I've got good news! My boss at the video store I used to work at called me yesterday and gave me my old job back! It's only part-time for now, but hopefully with some luck, I can get it to be full-time! ::smiles:: So I have much to be thankful for and I am very grateful!

In honor of it, I decided to post a new piece of fiction I just finished. It's KH, it's rather angsty and you should be of legal age to read it! Hope you enjoy it, domo arigato for 4940+ (Wooo!) hits, sign my Guestbook onegai, and ja ne for now! =~.^=V (Proud Supporter of the 58 Pairing!)

"Watching Your Back"
By: Miracle Shining

AUTHOR'S NOTES: "Kingdom Hearts" is property of Squaresoft Inc. and Disney Inc., and all related subsidaries. Please do not sue me, I have no money. This is a soft YAOI fan fiction piece and you should be of your legal age in your state and country to read this. FLAMES WILL BE BLATANTLY IGNORED! Enjoy! =^.~=

PAIRING: SquallXSora, inferred SquallXZell (past tense)

RATING: PG-15/maybe R

WARNING: Sora's POV, Angst, dark themes, sexuality, tattooing (::chuckles:: Not really a warning, I just thought it's funny)

SUMMARY: Watching Squall's back after he gets out of the shower reveals a darker side of the man to Sora...


Squall has these neat angel wings on the back of his black shirt. I thought they were so cool when he turned around after our first real meeting. I asked him about it and he told me that the wings were to remind him a girl he knew. She was his best friend, she also had angel wings on her back. He never told me her name, just said she was magical.

Never knew what that really meant.

I started calling "Leon" Squall when he told me his real name. I was so impressed by everything about him! He was like Riku, but ten times stronger and faster and so much more controlled! I mean, how cool is it that I got to be trained by him. But, he never talked much, he was always friendly, but never too friendly.

Yuffie said its 'cuz he'd seen so many awful things. Aerith said it's 'cuz he's hurting inside. I guess I don't really know what that all means. I just knew that there is only one rule when you're staying in Squall's flat. You're not allowed to see him without his shirt on.

Okay, yah, it was me being nosy. I'm fourteen! If someone tells me something NOT to do, its only natural I'm going to do the opposite! So, I snuck into Squall's room and hid under his bed. Mr. Leonhart came in, cool as always, and headed for the bathroom. He tossed his clothes out of the room, so I never got the chance to see him.

I crawled out from under the bed and slipped into the nearby closet. I could in least see Squall when he came out of the shower. Okay, I admit that I wanted to see Squall naked. It's not the first time I've wanted to see another boy without his clothes. But Squall wasn't Riku, he was older and more muscular and much taller.

I wanted... I wanted to see if he looked different...

Well, Squall came out, towel around his waist. I suprised myself by how disappointed I was by that. But when Squall turned around, I quickly forgot why.

There was this tattoo on Squall's back, it looked like an awful set of demon's wings, 'cept they weren't connected. They sat apart just like those neat angel wings on Squall's shirt. They had a tribal look to them, like they weren't supposed to be demon wings, but because they were sitting up on edge and the curved side of each one was facing the other, they looked like awful black wings. It was scary...

I was scared...

I was scared now of getting caught by Squall...

So, I stayed put. Squall stretched out his arms and then stood, staring into the mirror, tracing the scar down the front of his face to the bridge of his nose. He looked like he was sorta' lost or something. He then bent his arm behind him slightly and slid his fingers down the black ink on his back. He said someone's name, it was too soft for me to hear.

Sorta' sounded like it started with a Z...

And I sneezed...

I wished I could have ran away screaming, jumped out of a window, I didn't care how, I just knew I wanted to get away!...

But it was too late, the closet door was tore open and stormy blue eyes stared at me with the ferocity of a thousand hungry lions. I was shaking so hard, I tried to open my mouth, but it all fell dry.

Then I started crying...

I was shaking and sobbing and I thought I was going to die. I'd only seen Squall look like that when he was ready to destroy a Heartless...

"I didn't mean to look!! I'm sorry!!! I'm sorry!!! I'll never do it again!!!!" I half sobbed, half shouted at the bigger man.

Squall's hand came to my mouth and at first I tried to fight. I didn't want him hurting me! But I realized quickly that he wasn't trying too, he was shushing me. He was saying something to me, but I didn't know what. I just kept crying and then he took his hand off my mouth and lifted me up.

"Please... please don't hurt me..." I whispered, my lips feeling like they weren't working quite right.

"Sora... Sssh, I'm not going to hurt you... Sssh, how could you think I would do such a thing?..."

His words pushed through the haziness in my mind and I blinked at him. My eyes burned really, really bad and my cheeks felt all crusty with salt. I didn't notice until he sat down that he was holding me on his lap. I felt like such a crybaby. Riku would have never cried. This thought just made me more upset.

"I'm such a stupid kid..." I cried softly, rubbing at my eyes angrily. "I can't fight right, I don't follow direction, I couldn't even respect your privacy..."

The hand that reached up to my head made me flinch for a moment until the calloused fingers rested gently into my hair, sliding through my touselled strands. I looked up hestitantly, afraid I'd see that angered look in Squall's eyes, but instead there's a softness I'd never seen.

"Oh Sora, you're not stupid, you're our Keyblade Master. You're doing well..."

"But... But, I... I broke the promise about not seeing you with your shirt on..."

"That's true, you did."

"Are... Are you going to punish me?" I tried to hold back the fear that's rising in my throat. If he did want to punish me, I had it rightfully coming.

Instead, Squall shook his head, one arm loose around my waist, the other still touching my hair. It felt really nice actually, my breathing feels like its getting even again. I felt myself sag against Squall's body, my cheek resting in the nape of his neck. I wondered if he minds.

"No, Sora. I'm not going to punish you. But you did break a promise that everyone else has respected of me."

I bit my lip. He was never going to trust me again.

"But I forgive you. I think its good that you were the one to see my mark over anyone else."

I wasn't expecting this and I gazed up at him wide eyed now, wiping my nose with the back of my gloved hand.

"I... I was?"

Squall nodded, his auburn hair moving about his face lightly.

"The tattoo on my back was done in honor of my long gone lover. He wore a tattoo on the side of his face. When he was lost to me, I had a set done that would have matched the one on his face. But I wanted it to scar me deeply, as much as the cut on my face had done, so I would never forget him. So when the artist put the tattoo on me, they used a different technique, literally graining the ink into my skin so that it would never disappear."

I blinked a few times, I know I did. It seemed really scary to have that much black ink spread into your skin and then to never get rid of it?

"But, but why do they look like demon wings?" I asked before I could cover my mouth. I could only hope he didn't get angry with me for asking.

"That was an accident actually. When the artist put the final line, he commented that they looked like a set of wings fitting for a Dark Prince. As angry of a youth as I was at that time, I only smiled bitterly and said to him that I would always have an angel on my back then and a dark demon's mark to remind me that I am human..."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked up at Squall again. His eyes were soft and they looked wet.

"Why don't you let anyone see your tattoo?"

"It seemed too sacred for me to let anyone see anything of my lost lover. I have hidden my back for almost six years now. But... But perhaps this is a sign that its time I let some of my demons go..."

I understood Squall. I might only be fourteen, but I really understood what he meant. Some times people hide lots of things for so long that it scars them really deeply. I knew that the tattoo wasn't just a scar on Squall's skin, it was in him. He needed healing.

"Can... Can I touch it?..."

Squall nodded at me and I slid off his lap, crawling around him on my hands and knees. I didn't remember when we got on the bed, but it must have been when he sat down with me on his lap. When I started really looking at the tattoo, it wasn't scary at all. Instead, it was really exotic, almost pretty. I wondered what his lost lover looked like with it on his face.

I carefully pressed my hands flat on his back and let my fingers trace the shape of the black lines. Squall made this noise and I almost pulled back.

"No, Sora, it's okay. That feels really good... Been a long time since I let anyone touch my back..."

That really encouraged me, so I went and really started touching the tattoo. I knew that it really was more a scar now than a tattoo, but it started to look really beautiful, especially when he flexed his shoulders and the lines moved.

"It's really neat, Squall..." I whispered behind him.

He got quiet sitting in front of me. I thought that I had said something wrong, but instead he turned a bit to look at me.

"Can I kiss you, Sora?"

I nodded. In least I must have or done something 'cuz next thing I knew, his lips were on mine and my heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest and go running back to Destiny Islands.

His lips were so soft and I whimpered a few times against him. My first kiss had been with Riku playing tag and it was sloppy and sorta misplaced. This was different, this was a kiss being given by someone who really knew what they were doing.

I opened my mouth for Squal's tongue and then I was on my back, Squall crawling on top of me. I absently wondered in the back of my head how his towel was still on. But that was really quickly forgotten when he literally pulled my breath out of my lungs.

He arched when I slid my hands down his back again when he let go of my lips. I reached my head upwards, craning to tell him I wanted him to kiss me again. He did, oh gods, he did kiss me. Then his hands were on me and in my clothes and then my clothes were all off.

I pulled at his towel with one hand, the other I wanted to keep on his tattoo. He needed it, I knew he did. He needed my touch as much as I needed his. Squall pulled the sheets over us and told me that it would hurt a little, but he would be gentle.

He was really gentle. I always thought my first time would have been with Riku, but I guess that just wasn't meant to be. I knew I was only a young teen, but he didn't seem to mind. It hurt, but he just soothed it away the same way my touch on his back seemed to soothe that scarring pain in his mind. I cried his name when I came. He sobbed mine. I felt loved. I felt really, really loved.

So now I'm lying on his chest, listening to his heart beat. His arm is around me, hand in my hair stroking it slowly. I smile now, I feel so warm and all the fear is gone inside me. I think all the fear and anger and bad things in Squall seem to be gone too. And the tattoo on his back definately isn't scary any more.



"Would... Would you ever do something like that if something were to happen to me?..." I feel really stupid for asking, but it seems the absolutely most important thing in world right then.

"I would tattoo a key in the middle of those two tribal markings, so I would always have you both bound to me forever..."

I don't think saying "I love you" could have had more an impact. I smile at him and I think I'm crying, but it's okay, 'cuz he's alreayd kissing the tears away and caressing me with calloused hands.

It's really amazing you know? What you see when you watch someone else's back...

...the end...

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